Friday, January 31, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
20 Things That Mentally Strong People Don’t Do
I often write about the things I believe we all should be doing,
trying or experimenting with in order to maximize our success and
happiness. However, it’s not always the things we do that make the
biggest difference in our lives; it’s often the things we avoid doing
that have the biggest effect. As human beings, we have a strong aversion
to not doing; we feel that in order to produce results, there must be an initial action.
However, because we are almost always doing something, piling on more and more often has a negative effect, rather than a positive one. Among the mentally strong, there are several actions that are avoided in order to produce the greatest benefit in the shortest period of time.
These actions are those that the mentally strong avoid, and that we should consider adapting as our own:
However, because we are almost always doing something, piling on more and more often has a negative effect, rather than a positive one. Among the mentally strong, there are several actions that are avoided in order to produce the greatest benefit in the shortest period of time.
These actions are those that the mentally strong avoid, and that we should consider adapting as our own:
1. Dwelling On The Past
Mentally strong individuals focus on the present moment and on the near future. They understand that the past is out of our control and the far future is about as predictable as the weather this winter.2. Remaining In Their Comfort Zone
The comfort zone is a dangerous place, a dark abyss where anyone who remains there for too long loses his or herself entirely. Staying within your comfort zone is giving up on life.3. Not Listening To The Opinions Of Others
Only the foolish believe themselves to be sufficient in all regards. When it comes to brainstorming, ideas can’t so much be forced as they can be caught. A good idea is a good idea, regardless of whether or not you came up with it. Don’t let your ego get the better of you; if someone has great advice to give, take it.4. Avoiding Change
What the mentally strong understand that the mentally weak do not is that change is unavoidable. Trying to avoid the inevitable is pointless. Therefore, trying to avoid change is pointless; it’s a mere waste of time and energy.5. Keeping A Closed Mind
You don’t know everything. Even the things you believe yourself to know are likely to not be entirely true. If you keep a closed mind, you are preventing yourself from learning new material. If you stop learning, you stop living.6. Letting Others Make Decisions For Them
Only you should be making your own decisions; you can’t allow others to make them for you. All this does is shift the responsibility from you to someone else, but the only person failing in the end is you. If you don’t have the courage to fail, then you don’t have the courage to succeed.7. Getting Jealous Over The Successes Of Others
When others succeed, you should be happy. If they can do it, so can you. The success of others does not, in any way, lessen the chances of you succeeding. If anything, it should motivate you to keep pushing forward.8. Thinking About The High Possibility Of Failure
Our thoughts control our perspective; our perspective controls our results. The mentally strong understand this and use this to their advantage. There’s always the chance you may fail, but as long as there is the chance you may succeed, it’s worth trying.9. Feeling Sorry For Themselves
Sh*t happens. Life can be hard. People get hurt; others die. Life isn’t all roses and butterflies. You will fall off that horse again and again and again. The question is, are you strong enough to keep getting back on it?10. Focusing On Their Weaknesses
Although working on our weaknesses does have its benefits, it’s more important to focus on banking on our strengths. The most well-rounded person is not the person that gets the furthest in life. Being average in all regards makes you average. However, mastering a certain skillset or trait will allow you to beat the competition with less effort.11. Trying To Please People
A job well done is a job well done, no matter who is judging the final product. You can’t please everybody, but you can always manage to do your very best.12. Blaming Themselves For Things Outside Their Control
The mentally strong know the things they can control, understand the things they cannot control, and avoid even thinking about that which is completely out of their hands.13. Being Impatient
Patience isn’t just a virtue; it is the virtue. Most people don’t fail because they aren’t good enough, or aren’t capable of winning or succeeding. Most people fail because they are impatient and give up before their time has come.14. Being Misunderstood
Communication is key in any properly functioning system. When it comes to people, things get a bit more complicated. Simply stating information is never enough; if the receiving party misunderstands you, your message is not being properly relayed. The mentally strong do their best to be understood and have the patience to clear up misunderstandings.15. Feeling Like You’re Owed
You aren’t owed anything in life. You were born; the rest is up to you. Life doesn’t owe you anything. Others don’t owe you anything. If you want something in life, you only owe it to yourself to go out and get it. In life, there are no handouts.16. Repeating Mistakes
Make a mistake once, okay. Make a mistake twice… not so okay. Make the same mistake a third time, you may need to consider giving up alcohol and drugs. You’re either stupid or permanently high.17. Giving Into Their Fears
The world can be a scary place. Some things frighten us with good cause, but most of our fears are illogical. If you know that you want to try something, try it. If you’re scared, then understand that being scared of failing must mean that succeeding means a whole lot to you.18. Acting Without Calculating
The mentally strong know better than to act before completely understanding the situation at hand. If you have time to ponder over something and cover all your bases, then do so. Not doing so is pure laziness.19. Refusing Help From Others
You’re not Superman; you can’t do it all. Even if you can, why should you? If others are offering to help, let them help. Be social. Listen to their ideas and watch how they do things. You may learn something. If not, then you can teach them something and do what humans are meant to do: socialize.20. Throwing In The Towel
The biggest weakness in all of humanity is giving up — calling it quits, throwing in the towel. The mentally strong go about things in such a way. Only do things if they are important to you; forget the things that aren’t important to you. If they’re important to you, then pursue them until you succeed. No exceptions, ever.Monday, January 13, 2014
8 Tiny Personal Changes That Can Yield Huge Financial Results
Saving a lot of money is like trying to run a marathon.
If you dwell on how long the race is, you might not even
get off the couch. But if, instead, you focus on putting one foot in
front of the other and running one mile, and then two miles, and so on,
suddenly a marathon doesn’t seem quite as intimidating.
Try to think about your finances in the same way.
Minor changes that you make right now can have a major
impact on your long-term financial security, according to Stephany
Kirkpatrick, senior director of financial planning and a Certified Financial Planner™at LearnVest Planning Services.
Below, she shares eight quick and easy tips that can help you slowly
and steadily stash away cash—and we profile real people who’ve put them
to the test, much to the benefit of their bottom lines.
1. Open a separate savings account: Simply put, you want to keep your checking account and savings account at two different banks.
Erica Zidel, 31, of Boston, Mass., who runs the babysitting startup SittingAround.com,
says that this is the single best thing she’s done to save money. “I
kind of forget that I have the savings account, so I’m not tempted to
dip into it,” she says. “Since doing this five years ago, my savings
have grown 400%.”
Kirkpatrick agrees that the out-of-sight/out-of-mind
mentality is helpful—plus, it usually takes two to three days to access
money from a separate savings account, so you probably can’t spend it as
impulsively.
2. Set up an automated transfer: It’s
easy to promise yourself that you’re going to transfer a certain amount
of money into savings each week or month, but following through takes an
awful lot of time, energy and discipline. Take the process out of your
own hands by either asking your company to regularly deposit a portion
of your paycheck directly into your savings account (that’s ideal, says
Kirkpatrick, because you never even see the money) or asking your bank
to regularly transfer a certain amount of money from your checking
account to your savings account.
“My husband and I set up an automatic transfer with our
bank between our checking and savings accounts, ” explains Kendal Perez,
a 28-year-old marketing manager at Kinoli Incorporated in Fort
Collins, Colo. “Each week, $50 is transferred, and we don’t typically
miss it. That has helped us build an emergency fund and cover costs like
car insurance and vehicle registration.” And do it frequently: “If you
transfer from checking to savings, I recommend weekly transfers, because
they keep your checking account more level. You won’t feel a huge dip
once a month,” says Kirkpatrick.
3. Bring your lunch to work: Did you know that the average American who eats their lunch out during the week spends nearly $1,000 a year?
Stuart L. Cantor, Ph.D., a 49-year-old pharmaceutical scientist in Mt.
Airy, Md., used to be tempted to go to a Chinese or Indian restaurant
with co-workers for lunch on occasion and drop $12 to $15 each time.
“Now I bring my lunch to work every day. Either my wife
and I will cook something or I’ll microwave a frozen Indian dish that
costs $1.99 for 14 ounces. I always eat something healthy and delicious,
so I don’t feel cheated,” he says.
“The key to making this habit stick is to make sure you’re
not taking an enjoyment factor out of your life,” says Kirkpatrick.
“Have one or two splurge days if you need to. Bringing your lunch 3 or 4
days a week is still better than none.” Ask your co-workers if they
want try this strategy too and eat with you, so you’ll get the same
sense of camaraderie that you would at a restaurant and they’ll help
hold you accountable.
4. Just add 1% … of your gross income to
your retirement savings every six months. The idea is to keep doing this
gradually until you reach the maximum amount that you’re allowed to
contribute. Maximums can change year to year. For traditional or Roth
IRAs, for example, the current limit is $5,500 (and $6,500 for those 50
or older). For 401(k)s, it’s $17,500 for those under age 50 and $23,000
for those age 50 or older. “1% is a good amount because it’s a painless
but significant step in the right direction. You can live without that
small amount of money,” says Kirkpatrick. If you are contributing, say,
2% right now, within about 4 years you’ll slowly grow that amount to 10%
without even feeling it by following this strategy.
5. Track your spending for one month:
Before you can spend less, you need to figure out exactly where your
money goes. You might think you have a good idea, but many people are
surprised by what they find.
Hudson Valley, N.Y. writer Virginia Sole-Smith, 32,
certainly was when she used a spreadsheet to track what she and her
husband spent on groceries in May and June of this year. But the
exercise helped her pinpoint areas where she could slash costs. “We were
spending $75 a month on individual, 6-ounce Chobani yogurts at a fancy
grocery store! Now we buy four-packs and 32-ounce tubs from Stop &
Shop,” she says. Tricks like this have enabled her to cut her yogurt
bill nearly in half and spend 37% less on all her groceries.
To track your spending, use our free LearnVest app.
Then analyze your habits and find at least one area where you’re
overspending. “Pay attention to recurring costs, like cable TV bills and
gym memberships. Ask yourself if you’re getting your money’s worth,”
says Kirkpatrick. If you’re not, it might be time to buy an HDTV antenna
(a one-time fee) or pay for Hulu or Netflix (which are recurring fees
but are less expensive than cable). Or you may want to watch free
exercise videos on YouTube instead of taking gym classes.
If your weak spot isn’t a recurring cost, try putting
yourself on a cash diet, says Kirkpatrick. For instance, if you can’t
enter a shoe store without purchasing three pairs, don’t go in there
with a debit or credit card—take only a certain amount of cash, so you
can’t go crazy.
6. Use a rewards card wisely: “For the
past 17 years, my husband and I and our five children have saved by
charging everything on my Southwest Airlines card and paying off the
balance in full each month. We rack up free miles so we can visit family
in Raleigh and take vacations, like a trip to San Francisco, at much
lower costs,” says Andi Wrenn, a 46-year-old financial counselor in
Arlington, Va.“Over the past four years, we’ve earned anywhere from
3,000 to 12,000 miles per month.” This tactic can be advantageous,
Kirkpatrick agrees. “But only if you spend within your means and pay off
the balance in full every month, so you have to stay disciplined,” she
advises.
7. Set reminders: One big money drain can
be forgetting to pay a bill—and then getting slapped with a late fee
and/or having to pay interest on a credit card payment. This can be
easily avoided by getting organized.
“I started using a hard copy planner (and then a few years
ago, I switched to using a Google digital calendar) to record reminders
throughout the year for different money deadlines, such as paying
monthly bills, contacting my tax professional, reviewing insurance
policies, getting a credit report and more,” says Ray Advani, 42, of
Chicago, who founded the blog Squirrelers.com.
“Over the past 10 years, this has saved me about $1,000
and prevents a lot of stress!” he adds. You can also schedule alerts via
email or text. “Setting reminders is a helpful strategy for people who
lead busy lives,” says Kirkpatrick. “You can also ask vendors, like your
cable company or electric company, if they can reset your payment due
date. You might prefer to have all your due dates on the same day for
convenience or it might help your cash flow to spread them out over the
month.”
8. Move your savings to an online bank:
“Consider putting your savings into an online bank, as opposed to a
brick-and-mortar bank, because the interest rates tend to be higher, so
your money will grow faster,” says Kirkpatrick. For example, if your
emergency fund sits in Citibank’s savings account, it’ll earn .01%
interest. If it sits in Ally online bank’s savings account, it’ll earn
.87% interest. And, as this story shows, even little differences can add
up.
LearnVest Planning Services is a registered investment
adviser and subsidiary of LearnVest, Inc. that provides financial plans
for its clients. Information shown is for illustrative purposes only
and is not intended as investment advice. Please consult a financial
adviser for advice specific to your financial situation. Unless
specifically identified as such, the people interviewed in this piece
are neither clients, employees nor affiliates of LearnVest Planning
Services. LearnVest Planning Services and any third parties listed in
this message are separate and unaffiliated and are not responsible for
each other’s products, services or policies.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
27 Unspoken Suit Rules Every Man Should Know
1. The width of the tie should match the width of the lapel.
SMALTO / malemodelscene.net
It’s all about BALANCE.
2. In general, thin lapels are more modern. Wide lapels are more old-school, Mad Men style.
AMC
So choose your look accordingly.
3. A pocket square adds an extra level of polish, but make sure it doesn’t match your tie in either pattern or fabric choice.
Before you go totally conservative,
remember that the pocket square is where you get the most freedom and
the one place you get to add a little pizzazz to your suit.
4. When buying an off-the-rack suit, the number one thing to check is how the shoulders fit.
Tsk, tsk, John McCain. Shoulder pads
should end at the shoulders. The shoulders are the hardest to tailor, so
make sure they don’t stick out or stick up.
5. A collar gap between your jacket’s lapels and your shirt’s collar can signify an ill-fitting jacket.
It’s complicated. Read more about it here.
6. Opt for a charcoal or gray suit over black, unless you’re attending a funeral.
Dark gray is more versatile and goes with more colors.
7. Your belt should be fairly thin and the same color as your shoes.
Union Made makes really great belts in a variety of leather and metal finishes.
8. You should match your shoes to the color of your suit using this guide:
putthison.com / Via reddit.com
9. Double vents in the back are more modern and fashionable.
This look is also more flattering for
larger figures, and it gives you enough room to do that effortlessly
casual “hand in pocket” thing.
11. If you’re going for more formal business attire, opt for a double-button, notched lapel jacket.
White Collar / USA
12. The Savile Row Fold keeps your dress pants from falling off the hanger.
Watch the instructional video here.
13. You should be able to slip your hand between your chest and your buttoned jacket such that it feels snug, but with room to move.
David Agbodji for Barneys
14. Always unbutton your suit before sitting down, or you risk ruining it.
Dimitrios Kambouris / Getty Images for Victoria’s Secret
15. The top button of a two-button (or the middle button of a three-button) should fall at or above the navel.
16. Always go with the classic windsor knot for your tie, but use the size of your head to determine whether you should go half or full windsor.
BIG HEAD = FULL KNOT. SMALL HEAD =
HALF KNOT. If you’re not sure how your head size compares, ask one of
your male friends. They should be able to give you an objective opinion.
17. If you’re wearing a vest, always keep the bottom button unbuttoned.
But plenty of men break this rule and are still able to pull off the three-piece beautifully.
18. There are practical reasons for vests beyond just how they look.
A vest is best worn with
single-breasted suits (so it’s actually visible). if you’re going to be
wearing your suit in a cold climate, a vest can add a lot of warmth. It
also adds a formal touch to your suit.
19. Sleeve cuffs should be exposed about half an inch.
For a harmonious look, try to match the visible cuff length to the amount of collar that is visible at the back of the neck.
20. When you get your suit home, you’ll need a seam ripper or a small, sharp pair of scissors.
Unstitch the jacket’s pockets, remove the
tack stitches from the jacket’s vents, and remove the little embroidered
label from the jacket’s left sleeve. Do this very carefully to ensure
you don’t actually rip the fabric or neighboring threads.
21. Make sure that your socks are long enough that there’s no exposed leg when sitting down.
No one needs to see your hairy gams.
23. The suit jacket should be just long enough to cover your pants zipper and butt.
24. Your tie should JUST reach the waistband of your trousers, or be slightly shorter.
25. For a more fashion-forward look, the pant hem should hit right at the top of your shoe.
For a more conservative look, the pants should cover the top of the shoe and parts of the laces.
26. If you sweat a lot, wear an undershirt.
Shutterstock
Preferably one with a deep neck so it
doesn’t peek through. Nothing will cheapen the appearance of a suit
more than a glimpse of undershirt.
27. Finally, go for the dimple.
The dimple is the little hollow
beneath the knot of your tie, and it gives a slightly disheveled yet
polished appearance to your finished look. Check out this handy guide on
nailing the tie dimple.
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